A Thing That Happend
by amorton1298
Summary: if you love: food feels family AND MORE this is the story for you I apologize for my inability to write a summery :(
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One:**

 **Just a Normal Day.**

 **It had been 2 years since Loki had tried to take over Midgard. During which the ex villain had survived through six months of torturous punishment before Thor had broken him out of his gruesome prison, another four months of slowly gaining the trust of his former enemies now turned friends, the Avengers, five joyous months of knowing what a real families love felt like, and finally nine insufferable months of loving a mortal man he could never hope of calling his.**

 **Loki was in the kitchen thinking about his past as he drizzled the roasted pineapple sauce, over the customary cranberry jelly glaze that adorned the seventh of his delectable Bundt cakes. This one he had made especially for his princess of spiders, Natasha, and was a succulent hybrid between a mouth-watering brown butter sour cream crumb cake with roasted pineapple sauce and fingerlickin' good sticky toffee bunt cake with cranberry jelly glaze.**

 **Loki had made a treat for everyone he cared for, and as if on schedule, when the clock hit two thirty, the overgrown children who haunted the Avengers Tower had crawled out of whatever crevice they had been tucked away in and made way to the table. Only after Loki had inspected each of their hands- especially Tony knowing how he spent most of his free time in the lab getting greasy and Clint who tend to frolic around in the dusty vents- and everyone was seated did Loki serve lunch, which today consisted of cavatappi with fontina and a side of mixed vegetables.**

 **The hero's were joined by Agent Phil Coulson as usual, but were also, unusually, joined by his boss Director Fury who, despite the fact that Loki had not caused any problems since his return on earth, hated the amateur chef with a burning passion, and once again tried to make his assets see reason.**

 **"** **No, I don't want any of the slop! What I want is for you to stop feeding my agents with your alien, mind controlling poison!", for some unknown reason Fury had gotten the ridiculous idea into his head that Loki was slowly taking over the world with delicious foods and baked goods- which he totally COULD, he just didn't have enough eggs.**

 **"** **Hey, Loki, are you trying to poison us, so you can slowly take over the world?" Tony rolled his eyes at the director as he asked his redundant question.**

 **"** **Mommy wouldn't poison us." Natasha answered before the man being questioned could open his mouth.**

 **"** **Yea Ma would just get us so fat we wouldn't be able to fight." Clint scoffed sarcastically before returning to the shoving of pasta into his dark hole of a stomach.**

 **"** **Nah, Daddy wouldn't let Momma feed us that much without a speech on portion control." Phil added playing along.**

 **"** **We're just friends" Steve muttered as he avoided eye contact with Loki, the three agents had started a joke where they called Loki the Mom and Steve the Dad, which was funny at first but was now an annoying habit the Captain had failed at breaking.**

 **Bruce rolled his eyes at the cluelessness of the pair when he noticed the tricksters small frown at the blonds words.**

 **"** **You shouldn't even be in this realm," Fury continued as if no one spoke "Thor should've just left you to die in Asgard, you're no good to us here."**

 **"** **My brother is the heart of the family of warriors you have created, Man of Fury, and it would be best if you leave him be" Thor loved his brother more than anything and hated when Fury would try to get him and his friends to turn their backs on him.**

 **"** **So what? He plays Nanny a couple times and you all think he's a saint or something?" Fury was beginning to notice the group seemed irritated and made the mistake of thinking it was directed at Loki instead of himself "I think you are better off dead, they won't miss you, no one will. I mean who wants a burden your size?" the man voiced the last comment to Loki and reclined back casually awaiting the support of the others.**

 **Everyone froze at the Cyclops's last words, most out of shock and anger but Loki was frozen out of fear, what if the people he thought of as family really didn't want him around? After what felt like eternity, but was probably only a few seconds, Steve slammed a fist onto the table making the plates and glasses clatter as he glared a hole into Fury's one good eye.**

 **"** **I will NOT have you speak to Loki like that, not only is he a brother in arms but he is also, supposedly my spouse, and if you have a problem with him, you not only have a problem with me but you have a problem with everyone else in this tower, do I make myself clear?", the soldiers tone was calm yet deadly, and looking around the kitchen table Fury could tell he had lost the support of the other members in this dysfunctional family.**

 **"** **Alright I see how it is, Phil come along our slick asses leaving "**

 **"** **Actually, sir, Momma says I can't have my dessert until I've finished all my veggies, and with all due respect I'm not leaving until I get my cake." Phil smile was sarcastic as he faced his boss, and Fury silently left the tower with a vow that this argument was far from over.**

 **"** **Well, who wants their cake?" Loki asked lightly, trying to defuse some of the tension, and as if someone flipped a switch everyone went back to how they acted before Fury ever showed up. As the team talked in an upbeat fashion, happily anticipating what flavor they're personalized cakes were going to be, Loki placed the Bundt cakes before each one informing each of the flavor and giving a small token of affection, loving how their eyes would light up in excitement.**

 **"** **Princess you're my guinea pig for this one, it's a new flavor, I've gone and mixed your two favorites, it's a brown butter sour cream crumb cake with roasted pineapple sauce and sticky toffee Bundt cake with cranberry jelly glaze, hope it's good!" a hand smoothing the red hair as he moved on.**

 **"** **Baby Bird got a mint chocolate chip Bundt cake with crème de menthe, since i know you just finished off your last box of thin mints a while ago and are have withdrawals" Loki teased and patted the excited assassin on the head lovingly.**

 **"** **Peanut you got a brown sugar pear and cherry Bundt cake, I'm sure it'll be your new favorite. Also I do hope I didn't get you trouble with the director" Loki pulled Phil into an apologetic hug as he began to worry, like any normal mother would do when they realize they could have gotten their child potentially fired. "If you need you can take my place, I'm sure everyone would agree your a much better fit for the tower then i could ever be, besides I don't-"**

 **"** **Whoa no ones taking anyone's place!" Steve interrupted and blushed as he continued "Loki you are not by any means replaceable." Bruce and Thor silently squealed at the adorable interaction.**

 **"** **Yeah, besides if you leave the rest are gonna follow," Tony's snarky comment was met with aggressive head nods from Loki's three children, his two best friends, older brother, Loki's forbidden fruit of a man, and, if he had been there, Bucky.**

 **Bucky, surprisingly, was the only person besides Steve who could ever talk Loki out of his "I'm -a-bad-person-who-needs-to-die" moods.**

 **"** **You're really the only thing keeping us from starving to death or killing each other" Bruce sheepishly grinned as he agreed with his best friend.**

 **"** **See this is why I made a cherry chocolate cake with fudge frosting Bundt for Tony, because you are sarcastically sweet and this cake is decadently simple." Loki gave both men a kiss on the cheek before continuing "Bruce i made you a chocolate zucchini Bundt because I know you're a huge health nut, but everyone needs a little chocolate in their lives." the trickster had a Cheshire sized grin plastered across his face and threw a wink over his shoulder as he made his way over to his brother.**

 **"** **Brother, I have made your favorite." Loki's tone was teasingly serious**

 **"** **Peanut butter chocolate?!" Thor was practically foaming at the mouth and as soon as Loki had given a curt nod, he tackled his brother the ground, both laughing and roughhousing happily.**

 **Eventually Thor released his brother in favor of demolishing his cake, so Loki moved on to the last person, Steve.**

 **"** **Well, Darling," Loki's eyes shined with amusement and, for Steve, everything slowed down a moment and all he could see was Loki "Looks like it's just you and me...". The moment was ruined by a certain Winter Soldier wrapping his arm around the mischievous god. Steve took a silent step back, clearing his throat as both Loki and Bucky made various sounds of excitement and jumped around, glad they were reunited with their best friend. After gaining back their composure, Bucky went and clapped Steve on the shoulder as Loki ran back into the kitchen getting the last two cakes.**

 **"** **Glad you were able to take care of him while I was away..." Buck trailed off and grinned as he thanked his best friends secret crush.**

 **"** **Steve a Caramel Apple Bundt Cake for you , I know how much you adore apples"**

 **"** **i can think of something else Steve adores" Tony muttered but quickly spoke up the baking god "Hey, Loki I'm gonna take Bruce and Thor back to the lab, so if anything goes down your best bet is the three amigos to your left" The speech was ended with the elevator doors closing, leaving a tomato faced Steve to deal with the snickering agents. "Great," Steve thought "Now they'll never stop calling me and Loki a couple…..not that i would mind but….WHOA what am i saying Loki is a friend, that's all! Just a good friend..."**

 **"** **Awww who are you kidding you know you find him attractive" a voice that sounded suspiciously like tony echoed from the back of Steve's mind, but the Captain quickly silenced it when he saw Loki hand the last cake to Bucky**

 **"** **Pumpkin cranberry Bundt cake for the brave little soldier who came home." Loki kissed the man on his forehead and Steve scowled at the interaction.**

 **Loki, never one to forget, walked over to the other soldiers side and cupped his cheek, much like how Thor would do him in one of his more sappy moments, but this was different, he didn't feel the same way for Thor as he did for the man in front of him.**

 **The spell was broken by Jarvis's voice "Excuse me Sir, but Loki has a phone call coming in" and as Loki turned away from the man of his dreams to answer said phone, Phil, Natasha, and Clint drug their Daddy away to the gym, much to Steve's protests.**

 **Bucky stayed behind to catch up with Loki but when he sat at the island table he noticed how tense his friends shoulders were and waited patiently for Loki to end his call, knowing he would get all his questions answered as soon as the other man got off the phone. Soon the phone was hung back onto the receiver, and as Loki turned toward Bucky he revealed his cold emerald eyes, instantly Bucky was at the god's side, hands on the broken man's shoulders. Fully prepared for one of Loki's more dramatic episodes.**

 **"** **Loki it'll be ok...tell me what happened and i promise you we can get through this." Bucky talked in a calm tone as if addressing a dangerous animal- which at this point he probably was.**

 **After a few moments Loki began to explain, "I'm going to have to go away For a little while, it appears Fury would like to see me at Shield Headquarters."**

 **"** **Fury hates you."**

 **"** **Odin threatened to declare war on Midgard."**

 **"** **send Thor, I'm sure he'll understand why you don't wasn't to see the son of a bitch" Loki had told Bucky some of the ways Odin had chosen to treat Loki when he was younger, laughing in his face when the whip would hit the tender flesh of the child the cold trickster used to be. Bucky's teeth clenched at the next words to leave the other man's mouth,**

 **"** **Thor is stuck in the lab conducting an experiment with our mad scientist and Fury is Demanding my presence. Look Buck I don't want you telling anyone where I'm going, Fury sounded a little off to me and I'm worried it might be a trap"**

 **"** **All the more reason not to go!" Everyone knew about Furies hatred for the mischievous god and Bucky didn't want his friend hurt.**

 **"** **It's not that simple," Loki stepped away from the man before him, not wanting to argue over something he had no control over "Midgard won't survive an intergalactic war, even with the Avengers fighting"**

 **"** **What if Odin's throwing another fit, like he did a couple months back when Thor didn't visit for that big battle feast?!"**

 **"** **If Odin really is throwing another temper tantrum then I'm going to take the brunt of his anger and protect my new home!" By now the two were yelling "It's my turn to play diplomat, Bucky, and there's nothing you can do so just let it go!"**

 **"** **Fine! Go!" The kitchen was silent as the two ex-criminals slowly calmed down.**

 **"** **Just….just don't tell anyone where I'm going ok? I don't want any of them to worry."**

 **"** **How long?" Bucky finally accepted his friend's decision and hoped nothing bad would happen.**

 **"** **I'm casting a no harm spell over the tower and occupants, also the fake me will be around so no one will notice my absence, it should last two and a half weeks. If I'm not back by then, or if my clone disappears before the set time you should either start a search or assume i'm dead." Loki put the magic in place as he spoke.**

 **"** **Dead?! Loki don't joke like that"**

 **"** **I assure you Bucky, I'm not, I want a small service and make sure everyone finds happiness."**

 **"** **Loki...i don't think..." Bucky's hands were shaking**

 **"** **Promise. Me." the god demanded looking as fierce as he did two years ago when he was under Thanos's control, Bucky silently nodded his consent and Loki gave his look-a-like some last minute orders before teleporting away.**

 **Bucky watched the imposter bumble around the kitchen getting it's bearings for a few moments before he walked away with a huff, he was going to the training grounds to let off some steam, and hopefully get his mind off any peril his best friend could fall into in the next two and a half weeks.**


	2. Chapter 2: New News and Missing Magic

****NOTES:****

 ** **apologies for all the bad language!****

 **Chapter Two:**

 **New News and Missing Magic**

 **Although Loki claimed his spell work would last two and a half weeks at best, on the second day the clone faded away while talking to Bruce. Bucky knew Loki was probably watching from a safe distance, but the others began to get a little suspicious and and on the fifth day the assassins trio was interrogating Bucky.**

 **"** **You were the last one with him," Clint reminded when asked why they were questioning said winter soldier, by said winter Soldier.**

 **"** **Actually I think Bruce was talking to him last." Bucky reminded hoping they would just let him go.**

 **"** **We know the difference between our Mommy and one of his clones!" Natasha yelled, it had been ten days without any word from Loki and she was worried something bad had happened. Her worry had not had the best impact on her abilities to remain neutral, and the others were beginning to feed off the negative energy.**

 **The stress was getting to everyone in the tower, and all of them were moody and often times hostile with one another, each trying, and failing, to find the lost god, in fact the only ones not worried sick were Thor, Bucky, and Bruce. Bucky because Loki explained the situation to him beforehand, Thor because he had placed a tracker on his smaller brother a couple thousand years ago without the others knowledge, and Bruce because Thor gave regular updates, since he didn't wasn't the Other Guy to go on a rampage looking for his margarita buddy.**

 **And because Thor told Bruce everything, he couldn't help it, every time he looked into the soft brown eyes of the doctor his resolve melted and all his secrets came flowing out, almost against his will, since Thor and Bruce were out, Natasha had rounded up her brothers to "talk" to the suspiciously calm Bucky.**

 **"** **Come on Tasha," Phil patted the his sister on the shoulder as she tried to get her emotions back under control "we'll find him, we just need to keep it together long enough" Bucky flinched when Phil turned his dead gaze onto him and he knew if he didn't give them what they wanted it was going to end badly.**

 **Glancing over to Steve Bucky prayed he could get his "kids" in check before they started using anything sharp, but the Captain had a jaded look and Bucky knew he was fucked. Surprisingly the trio did let him go, and Bucky managed another two days of having each agent ambush him with threats and false promises at random moments in the day, but when they sent Tony to talk to him he couldn't hold his silence anymore.**

 **"** **Come on Bucks tell me where he is," Tony pleaded from his side of the couch.**

 **"** **I made a promise," Bucky refused to look at the sure to be pitiful sight of Tony Stark begging. They were in Bucky's personalized apartment of the tower, Stark made sure everyone had one filled with anything you could need except a kitchen or living room. The team had decided it was for the best, they wanted to have personal space but didn't want to end up distancing themselves either. It was an unwritten rule that you didn't go into someone else's space unless they invited you.**

 **The trio of death respected the silent rule, but Tony had broken one of the most important rules of the tower, claiming if he paid for it he could do whatever he damned well pleased, and, after two hours of one sided banter, practically begged Bucky for information on Loki's where abouts.**

 **"** **I know and I respect that I really do," Tony bit his lip and looked down at his feet, not quite sure how to go on,**

 **"** **But?" Bucky offered finally noticing how much trouble Stark was having, it was cute.**

 **"** **But, Steve is having a conniption over this and i just want him happy, ya know?" Tony smiled softly as he met the Bucky's eyes and spoke about another man, and, if Bucky was being completely honest, it hurt, he had had a crush on Tony for a while now. Barnes figured if Stark was willing to break a Tower Rule for Steve he must feel pretty strong for the guy, and it sounds like Steve had been spending a lot of free time with the genius, which sucked considering Loki had a thing for The Man Stuck in Time.**

 **"** **...Not that i would mind cause i don't hate you or anything, but Steve and Loki have the 'married-with-kids' thing going, and i think he would feel better knowing SOMETHING-" Bucky had zoned out for a moment and decided to cut the playboy off.**

 **"** **He went to see Fury about some things" Bucky wanted him gone so he could schedule a Margarita Night with Bruce, he was going to need it. Tony seemed shocked at the news, but he was also confused at why Bucky was ignoring his attempts to ask the other man out, he could've sworn…**

 **"** **Uh, thanks, I'll, uh, go tell Steve to stop worrying." Tony said as he got off the couch, he quickly and silently left the apartment after that, thinking over the last bit of conversation.**

 **When Tony left Steve was pacing the large family room, periodically glancing to the kitchen, mumbling under his breath and rubbing a hand across his jaw. When Tony found him, on the other hand, he was sitting in the small kitchen nook looking like a kicked puppy, staring down an unopened bottle of tequila.**

 **"** **Hey Cap, holding up ok?" Tony treaded lightly, the last time they talked about Loki's disappearing act he not only almost lost one of his only friends he came very close to getting a shield to the the face.**

 **"** **What if he got taken by Thanos again, and is being tortured somewhere?" Steve looked up sad as hell and tony couldn't help his next comment.**

 **"** **Thanos? Your thinking worst case scenarios again, aren't you?" Tony sighed as he felt the beginnings of another headache, "No, no Thanos, but there is a real chance he's getting tortured right now."**

 **"** **What?" Steve was VERY confused, but quickly processed Tony's last words.**

 **"** **We need to go help him!"**

 **"** **Relax cowboy, Bucky gave me the four-one-one, he's fine."**

 **Steve wasn't processing the information very well, mostly because of the new age slang, but eventually asked, "You got Bucky to talk? What did he say?!"**

 **"** **Calm down", Tony could handle a happy bouncing Cap., but the slightly pissed and a whole lot of panicked Cap. he couldn't and waited,watching as the man in front of him did as instructed.**

 **"** **I'll have Jarvis show you the whole thing." Tony opened the bottle as Jarvis spoke overhead.**

 **"** **Yes sir, would you like commentary?"**

 **"** **Absolutely," Steve didn't wasn't to over analyze the whole situation and was glad Jarvis was willing to do it for him.**

 **"** **The clip starts out with Tony plopping down next to the more muscular man and tries to start a conversation, but when that fails, it shows Sir begging for information-" Jarvis is cut off b a whinny Tony**

 **"** **I was NOT begging!"**

 **"** **\- on your behalf. It then appears Bucky is in deep thought as Sir begins stumbling in a pathetic attempt to ask Mr. Barnes on a date-"**

 **"** **Jaaarrrviiiss"**

 **"** **-which is interrupted by Mr. Barnes stating, and i quote 'He went so see Fury about some things' lead by Sir awkwardly muttering something before he rushes out" Jarvis finishes sounding waaay too judgmental on Tony's actions for an Artificial Intelligence.**

 **"** **Fury hates Loki." Steve comments confused as to why Fury and Loki would be meeting up for any reason, And Ignores Tony threatening Jarvis.**

 **"** **Hey tell the kids Mommies Fine." Tony finally turned back to talk to Steve.**

 **"** **You know they don't listen to their father," Steve joked, leaning back in his seat "The boys are both Mommas boys, and Natasha? Well she might as well be one of the boys, what with the way she worships her Mother and all." The two men chuckled, and Steve took the bottle from Tony's hands and took a mighty swig.**

 **"** **Seriously though, you can't keep worrying like this, he'll come back when he's ready, have a little patience yea?" Tony advised, finally sounding his age for once.**

 **"** **Yea," Steve breathed before changing the subject "So you finally tried to make a move on old iron fist eh?" Tony groaned.**

 **"** **Come on Cap. you saw the clip, he completely blew me off- and not in the way i wanted."**

 **"** **You did invade his space without asking." Steve pointed out in a very Captain-Obvious-y way.**

 **"** **Yea, but he didn't start to get that far away look until i mentioned how upset you were and how i was trying to make you happy...hmm" Tony got his own far away look while Steve looked at him like he was the most unintelligent being he had ever met.**

 **"** **Did you say it just like that?" Tony turned at the 'I'm-so-done-with-your-shit' tone the Cap. had directed at him.**

 **"** **Yeah, i did, and i meant it too, you were starting to freak me out and- what's wrong?"**

 **Steve face palmed himself before laughing hysterically.**

 **"** **I know you're a genius," a pause for more laughter "But you are the stupidest man!" queue holding sides and wiping of tears "I have EVER met!" aaaaand die out to giggles and red faced amusement.**

 **"** **What? what'd i do?" Tony for the first time in a while couldn't figure something out.**

 **"** **He probably thinks you have feelings for me….Holy SHIT! do you have feelings for me? Because it's cool that you do but i kinda have my hopes set on someone else, and-" Now it was Tony's turn to laugh.**

 **"** **Ohhh, do tell," Tony grinned as Steve's face went from an amused ruby to an embarrassed merlot. "Whos the lucky person to ensnare and captivate the ever elusive Captain America?" Steve panicked, he knew tony wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted, so Cap did the best he could do with what he had, and lied.**

 **"** **Maria! it's Maria Hill!"**

 **"** **Furies right hand? You're interested in a WOMAN who is basically Fury with a-"**

 **"** **TONY!" Steve quickly interrupted "She's a lady!"**

 **"** **She also hates Loki," Tony defended, and watched as Steve's eye twitched at the mention of the absent man. Bingo.**

 **"** **Anyway," Tony takes the bottle back, "Now that you know he's safe what are you going to do?"**

 **"** **But i don't REALLY know he's safe, do i?" Steve leaned forward holding his chin in the heel of his hand.**

 **"** **Yeah, but you could always talk to your girl, Maria, for that" Tony teased.**

 **"** **Nah, it's like you said before, she hates Loki." Steve casually shot back crinkling his nose.**

 **"** **Well," Tony's left eyebrow rose as he also placed his head on his hands**

 **"** **On the bright side you can stop bugging me with your crazy 'the-guy-I-like-but-don't-is-in-danger' stories."**

 **"** **Whaaaat?" Steve did a wonderful imitation of a minion, "I'm don't like Loki, were just really good friends"**

 **"** **Friends who have a pretend marriage with assassin children" Tony was now being a condescending little shit.**

 **"** **Hey!" Steve really needed to think before he spoke "It's real to me!"**

 **"** **What?" Tony barely held his laughter in "That means you're cheating on your 'wife' with Maria!" and there goes Tony's self control.**

 **"** **Well, I mean…. It's not..." Steve stumbled for a way to retract his last comment without digging a deeper grave "I'M NOT GAY!"**

 **screaming that probably wasn't for the best but it did sober tony up pretty well**

 **"** **Ok, first of all your a terrible liar, second, you clearly have feelings for Loki if you take the fake marriage thing seriously, and third of all, it's the twenty first century Cap., it's ok to be gay now."**

 **"** **I know," Steve was getting exasperated "Clint and Natasha made a power point and made me take notes" Steve hoped his embarrassment would be enough to take Starks attention away from his hopeless love life.**

 **"** **Great," Tony took a sip of last of the tequila they had been sharing handing the rest to Steve, and waited for him to relax before he continued, "How long have you had feelings for Loki?" Steve choked and Tony patted the poor man on the back.**

 **"** **Come on i told you when I had a thing for Bucky" Tony waited way too long for this information and now that he had a chance of getting what he wanted he wasn't about to let go.**

 **"** **Fine, you remember when I had left for a few months with Sam?" Steve waited for Tony's head nod before he continued "Well when I first got back, everyone greeted Bucky back with a face full of weapons."**

 **"** **He was dangerous!" Tony defended with crossed arms.**

 **"** **Everyone but Loki," Steve continued as if Tony had never spoke "Loki stepped in front of everyone with a plate of cookies, a big smile, and a 'Welcome to the Family' hug." Steve had a dreamy little smile on his face and Tony was glad his friend finally confided in him.**

 **"** **Great we'll ask them out on a double date when Loki gets back" Tony clapped Steve on the back, both in high spirits**

 **"** **Sir," Jarvis spoke from above "I do hate to be the bearer of bad news, but as I understand, Master Bucky and Mister Loki are already in a relationship."**

 **"** **WHAT?!" Tony and Steve yelled at the ceiling together.**

 **"** **Well," Jarvis spoke sounding slightly nervous "Natasha had me download a bunch of Russian soap operas and according to my scanners they MIGHT be in a secret relationship" Jarvis knew he was lying, but he did so love romantic drama, and he did exchange negotiations with Loki. Loki got to keep all conversations private and Jarvis got a personality and everything spell enhanced.**

 **"** **Oh," Cap bowed his head in sadness, accepting defeat**

 **"** **Oh?" Tony was pissed "No, 'oh', Jarvis clearly said MIGHT, that means we still have a chance, and we aren't going down without a fight!"**

 **"** **You know what?" Steve look just as determined as Tony "You're right! We should keep trying 'till we get what's ours!"**

 **"** **That's the spirit Sir!" Jarvis encouraged from the ceiling, and the two, with the help of Jarvis, spent the rest of the night coming up with ways to get their one and only true love- Jarvis's words- even if they did like the sound of it.**

 **It had been a few days since Steve spread the news about Loki's location, and the kids had gone to headquarters in hopes of catching a glimpse of their Mother. Natasha went in to finally teach that class of trainees she'd been avoiding, Clint went in to play with the new shipment of arrows- and Natasha's trainees, and Phil went just to do his regular job.**

 **Clint watched from the rafters as natasha attempted to teach the idiots how to defend themselves.**

 **"** **Alright," she tried to sound positive, but they sucked way too badly "How about we try two lessons at once, i'm going to put you in a scenario where you actually have to defend yourselves while also teaching you to keep a level head ok?" Clint chuckled at the confused glances of the cadets.**

 **"** **Try to piss her off" he yelled out helpfully.**

 **"** **You're fat?" one cadet spoke and easily dodged the fist that flew towards his face**

 **"** **Good" Natasha encouraged and soon all the cadets were defending and laughing.**

 **"** **You're ugly!"**

 **"** **You're the worst Avenger EVER!"**

 **"** **You should've stayed in the kitchen!"**

 **"** **Your Moms a fat dirty whore!"**

 **The last trainee who spoke was instantly pinned to the wall by an arrow to the shoulder.**

 **"** **What did you say about our Ma?" Clint's voice was deadly calm and Natasha brought out one of her throwing knives- a gift from Loki, her mother. The other almost-agents left the room to get the first agent they came across- Phil Coulson**

 **"** **Hey! What's going on in here?" the knife was only centimeters from one of the kids eye, and Phil really didn't want to fill out any paperwork on two rogue agents.**

 **"** **He called our Mommy a dirty whore" Natasha informed, confident her brother wouldn't try to stop her. As predicted Phil joined his other siblings in teaching the whiny cunt a lesson. Laughing sadistically he took out his own, personalized pillywinks and tongue tearer- another gift from their saint of a Mother.**

 **After three hours someone had finally ran to fetch them after watching the three began to force the idiot to perform The Judas Cradle. Before they could tie the poor boy down their Daddy had ran in began yelling at them, and it took the combined effort of both Thor and The Hulk to drag them from the room. They dropped the crazed children in the cage Shield had around, in case The Hulk ever needed to be contained.**

 **The group noticed something that appeared to be another cage with a sheet thrown over the top, and were curios, but when pained moans sounded from the other side of the sheet they all assumed they placed the injured cadet there and all easily ignored the other being.**

 **"** **What do you have to say for yourselves?" Steve began scolding his three delinquents.**

 **"** **He called Ma a dirty fat whore" Clint recited. Steve went calm for moment, and after ten minutes of struggling against Thors hold, was locked up next to the other three certified torturers. Thor decided the four need a LOT of time to cool down, so he took it upon himself to calm the jolly green giant outside of the Hulk cage. It took, eight hours, 19 smashed walls, three broken employees, and fifty seven shattered windows, but he finally did it.**

 **The next morning was welcomed by most of the tower dwellers attempting and failing to make something edible for breakfast- they had grown accustomed to ordering food in Loki's absence but today they had a craving for something homemade. When suddenly Thor and Bruce burst from the elevator- they had been held at Shield for the night, in case Clint, Phil, or Natasha decided to sneak back in- and began to telling the group what Loki was planning on doing. The words were all jumbled due to the Thors over over dramatization and Bruce trying to talk and soothe the thundered at the same time, but, with help from the others, they eventually calmed Thor down enough to tell them whatever had him so panicked.**

 **"** **Fury is sending Loki to Asgard, to hold court with Father on behalf of Midgard!" The news finally erupted from Thor in an articulate fashion.**

 ** **Notes:****

 **I may have used some terms not a lot of people may be familiar with and I thought that I should explain some of them ~**

 **With Pictures!** ** **The Judas Cradle****

 **Closely related to impalement, this gruesome punishment entailed having the victim sit on the pyramid-shaped cradle, after which they would be forced down on it by ropes with the intent of stretching the victim's orifice over a long period of time, slowly impaling them. To add to the overall humiliation, the victim was usually naked and the device was rarely washed. So if the torture did not kill you, the infection contracted from it would.**

 ** **Tongue Tearer****

 **Looking like an oversized pair of scissors, it could effortlessly cut the victim's tongue. Their mouth would be forced opened with a device called a mouth opener, and then the iron tongue tearer would uncomfortably twitch the tongue with its rough grippers. Once a firm hold was maintained, the screw would be firmly tightened and the victim's tongue would roughly be torn out.**

 ** **Thumbscrew****

 **Though there are many variations of this torture device, the thumbscrew or 'pillywinks' all function the same. They were designed to slowly crush not only the fingers and toes, but larger devices were also used to crush knees and elbows. There is also the Head Crusher, which could do the same for heads. It's primary intention was to extract confessions from victims and it was first used in medieval times.**


	3. Ch3: more magic

_**Notes:**_

 _ **some lord of the rings facts, norse myth facts, and others are present. some have been manipulated to fit the story. some are completely made up. sorry.**_

Chapter Three:

Magical Gifts and Their Backstories

"Why cant you go in his place?" Phil questioned from counter he was silently leaning on.

"Might i remind you, Sparky, your 'father' wants Loki's head on a stake" Tony's voice oozed with sarcasm, but also an edge of bitterness that reflected the emotions of most the people in the room

"Can we stop him?" Steve commented as he began to pace the carpet- again.

"Father has demanded i stay on Midgard for the time being." Thor glanced apologetically around the room filled with his closest friends, ignoring everyone but Phil's comment.

"i only have one question," Natasha felt better taking most of her anger on the cadet yesterday, and was calmer as she spoke to Thor, but everyone could tell her crazy could be unleashed at any moment if he answered wrong " Are you and Fury sending my Mommy to her death?"

"Yes" Bruce answered seeing the torn expression in Thor's eyes

"You have no right to call him your Brother."Clint spat, and Thor flinched guiltily, "Your betrayal is exactly why he fell the first time."

"All he ever wanted was a brother who would protect and love him." Natasha made sure to pile on a little extra guilt too.

"And this is how you repay him? By giving him to the father who always told him he could never be good enough?" Steve actually wants answers.

"The same father who taught him to hate himself, whipping him for wanting a little love, while you played merrily with The Warriors Three?" Phil just wants to be mean.

"he was always compared to you, yet he worshipped the ground you walked on." And Clint always get the last word.

"Ok," Bruce decided to take mercy on the thundering god "Lets go after him."

"How?" Bucky questions from the countertop he perched upon.

"We come up with a way to get Fury to send us to Asgard"

"Not going to happen," Natasha turned away from the slumped over Thor, "if Furys the one who sent him he's not going to want anyone interfering."

"What if we convince Fury that Loki wants to take over Midgard again?" Tony quickly began formulating a plan, he desperately wanted loki's cooking back.

"because if we do mange to bring him back," Phil informed the group "he would be put under observation and used as a test subject"

"How do you know?" Steve stopped pacing as he asked his question, putting everyone's attention on the agent.

"Because Shield has been wanting to do experiments ever since Thor showed up." Phil took a moment to take a sip of coffee before continuing "When he ended up being a hero they realized they would have to wait to take you out, fortunately an evil alien- Loki- showed up, unfortunately he was sent back to your realm, and when he does finally return, he's under Avengers protection and adopts three of the best assassins on the face of the earth."

"That does not explain why they would wasn't my brother now." Thor is getting frustrated trying to come up for a solution to solve their new Loki problem.

"They can't have you, so they have been waiting for Loki to slip up, so they can do whatever they want without anyone questioning them" Natasha explained her entire being completely jaded except for the slight narrowing of her eyes and clenched fists

"But," Bruce spoke up, turning to the facts for a solution "Wouldn't the protection of the Avengers and the fact he adopted Shield's best agents, at least cause a little hesitation?"

"It's not a legal adoption" Steve reminds continuing his pacing.

"Not true," Clint informed the Super Solider.

"When Momma found out the three of us, at one point or another, was forced to get rid of any documentation of our existence, he used his magic to make new birth certificates with his name on them." Phil smiled softly at his short story.

"He said we wouldn't ever have to hide from him" Natasha moved over to where clint was and flicked his ear playfully, the tension temporarily forgotten.

"We gave him a marriage certificate," Clint jostles Natasha back "You know, for the parent joke?" He sobered up as he looked to the man he considered his father.

"He signed the wife's side, left the husband's side, and framed it." Natasha studied the Caps reaction to the new information, she was pleased with the sparkle of hope in his eyes. "Keeps it hung up next to our certificates in his room." She added, hoping he understood that the three of them actually wanted the five of them to be a true, legal family.

"Wait," Thor lept to his feet with sudden realization "Did he give any of you a gift of any sorts?" he spoke to everyone in the room, not just his niece and two nephews.

"he gave each of us one" Phil spoke for the three.

"I got something from him a couple weeks ago." Tony confessed, confused with what this had to do with anything.

"A couple months ago" Bruce confirmed

"Yup" Bucky agreed and Steve nodded.

"Tell me," Thor grinned, hope skyrocketing "Do you keep them with you at all times?"

"Stuck with mine!" Bucky snorted at Tony's comment and high fived him.

"Me too" Bucky said turning to Thor, who looked around the room at the others expectantly

"Me three" Bruce added shyly, not looking at anyone.

"Yeah," Clint added his validation "Always, won't go anywhere without it." Natasha and Phil nodded, confirming that they also kept theirs with them at all time. Steve shifted nervously but also mumbled something about having his with him all the time too.

"What gifts did he bestow upon you?!" Thor could hardly contain his excitement, "You must show me!" he hoped Loki had given them gifts they could use th locate and retrieve his brother.

"Maybe, after work?" Phil pleads as he notices how late for work he is.

"Yeah," Tony agrees "I wasn't to go down to the lab with Bruce here to see of we can make a portal to your home planet."

"Me and Nat. have to go apologize to the cadets from yesterday anyway" Clint commented as the group dispersed leaving a pouting, plotting Thor behind.

"Lady Widow," They had just finished dinner and had just cleared the table to talk about the earlier topic when Thor had spoken up. "Would you like to start?" He held his hand out expectantly, but after a moment he told himself they probably wouldnt want to let go of what whatever his brother had furnished them with, and silently retracted his hand.

"Uh," Natasha didn't really trust Thor not to take her trinket but brought it out to be seen anyway "I got this ring with weird writing on it" she pulled a ring, glinting on the chain she kept around her neck at all times under her clothes- literally Lord of the Rings ring.

"Amazing." Thor was seeing how much his brother actually cared for the mortals before him.

"Yeah, I guess" Natasha didn't know how but, according to Thor's face, it seemed pretty 'amazing', and that pleased her very much, she quietly placed her ring back under her shirt as Clint spoke up about his own gift.

"I got this bombtastic bracelet" Clint shoved his shirtsleeve up to his elbow th show an intricate band of what appeared to be seven different types of leather braided and woven around a pair of silver wings that were so detailed the group waited for them to flutter against Clint's flesh, and, nestled in the leather, around the wings were numerous tiny stones.

"Great!" Thor couldn't believe their good fortune "Whos next?"

"Well," Phil put his coffee mug down to show his own gift "I also got a ring" he pulled the ring off as he spoke, it was a silver serpent looped over for the finger and wound into an elaborate knot, leaving the head to appear as if ready to strike, but is stopped by a ball of rune marked amber.

Thor gasped as he examined Phil's ring in amazement, "He couldn't have…." as he trailed off he handed Phil his ring back "Put them on the table if you can" he asked. Natasha and Phil reluctantly did as he was told, but Clint found he couldn't take his 'bombtastic' bracelet off, so, shrugging, he settled for setting his mostly uncovered wrist on the tabletop was honestly confused at this point, all of these mortals had ancient magic that his brother had given to them and they acted as if they were simple baubles.

"Me next!" Tony sounded like a child on christmas morning as he slipped his shirt shirt off. Along the ribs of his right side was a black scorch mark of an unknown symbol followed by more unknown writing of some sort.

"It's black?" Thor realized why his friends weren't as amazed with their gifts as they should have been, they didn't know Loki had bestowed upon them power that could bring all Gods to their knees. "Bucky, what about you?"

Bucky also took his shirt off, revealing a giant wolf howling at a rearing, eight legged horse, both surrounded by weird Asgardian runes above his heart. Reading the runes Thor gasped to himself again, repeatedly amazed with what his brother had been willing to give to these mortals.

"My ankle got pierced" Bruce spoke gaining the attention of the now somber thunder god.

"What?" This did not match the other gifts Loki had given the others, causing Thor to rethink his theory.

"It's this thick," Bruce placed his leg on the table everyone was sitting around like the knights from the round table "Shackle thing, it changes size so it's always in place, even when i'm the Other Guy." the steel shackle that encompassed Bruce's ankle had three hiled where it pirced his flesh all the way through, the side facing out had a large, reptilian like eye. The colors were a kaleidoscope of reds, purples, greens, blues, and yellows. Thor laughed.

"Steve it is your turn, is it not?" Thor didn't answer when questioned on his laughter choosing to address the only person not sporting something from his brother.

"Ummm," Steve was awkward as he removed his shirt, much like Tony and Bucky, only with a hell of a lot more reluctance. "He told me not to show my back to anyone, unless i trusted them with my life." Thors eyebrow rose, but it was Tony who was the first to speak up.

"You don't trust us?" Steve's shirtless back stayed plastered to the back of his chair as he squirmed under their harsh stares, eventually, never answering Tony's question, he stood to straddle his seat. He never looked up from the hole he was string into the wall across from him, but he clenched a fist as he listened to the others gasps and exclamations, hoping he made the right choice.

"By the Norns!" Thor couldn't keep this comment of disbelief to himself and practically shouted it "Do you know what adorns your back?"

"No, is it bad?" Steve was only slightly worried he had been cursed by the God of Chaos.

"No!" Thor laughed again albeit this time rather hysterically before he abruptly stood and made way to the Towers liquor cabinet. Grabbing the first two bottles he sat back down at his seat, "Would you like for me to explain the WONDERFUL things my brother has given you?" the 'wonderful' was somewhat sarcastic with an edge of bitterness that made the mortals worried.

"Preferably?" Bruce spoke, "Yes" he REALLY wanted to know about the eye that was a permanent fixture on his ankle.

"Well," Thor said gesturing with one of his bottles, the amber liquid sloshing before he brought it to his lips, "None of you noticed the Lovers Marks he had placed on you." Thor was preparing for story time and figured he might as well tell them about the marks now.

"The what?" Tony was the only one who didn't seem worried, angry, or confused at the moment.

"Lovers Marks," Thor repeated in a condescending manner, "The Seven Diseases and their lovers The Seven Cures? The back of each of your necks are marked with a pair."

"Can you explain what whatever you just said is?" Clint moked Thors tone as he asked his question.

"The Seven Diseases to Befall the Gods," Thor was no longer condescending, but authoritative as he glared the other man down, "Loki had found a new spell, I was told, if done right, he would be able to grant life to any object. I was a fool and told him I thought him mad, as I left to go train with The Warriors Three he told me he would prove me wrong. A few weeks later he came running into the training grounds, Claiming to have finally had a success to his spell, but when we demanded to see what he brought to life, and he presented a small girl, explaining she was the embodiment of vanity, we all laughed in his face calling him a liar and a sham of a sorcerer. We left him in favor of finding some food, we soon grew bored and went to go tease Loki for his failure again but when we got there he was surrounded by six small children of different Aesir races, we watched in awe as he poured something in a big basin and a child appeared, replacing the water. He named this girl Greed and rubbed a greed paste onto her forehead, we burst into the room as the girls skin went from being a strange, lifeless grey to a chocolate brown and her dead features coming to life with a huge smile for her Mother-"

"Wait," Bruce interrupted, much to the displeasure of the people enjoying the story.

"What?" Natasha was irked when the doctor didn't continue right away

"I think Loki is the Mother of The Seven Deadly Sins." Bruce didn't want any confrontation tonight.

"Of course he fucking is" Phil could just see all the paperwork he would have to fill out over the hero's 'story-time'.

"We have siblings?" Clint was amazed, he always wanted a big family.

"Could you hold off on planning the family reunion for just a little while?" Tony wanted the rest of the story now damn it "Thor, if you'd be so kind as to continue please"

"Certainly," Thor loved to tell tales of the happier times with Loki, "I was the one to give them the title of The Seven Lovely Sisters a few centuries later, and men came from all over to try to claim one of the maidens hands, unfortunately they, like their Mother, enjoyed creating a little chaos The only one immune to their powers was Loki, and after a few years of mayhem The Allfather had renamed them The Seven Deadly Diseases of the Gods, and given them a hundred years to marry and stop messing with Aesir men, if they failed they would have a curse placed upon each of them and banished. After eighty years Loki feared for his daughters and used the same spell from before to create the perfect spouse for each woman, The Seven Cures to the Deadly Disease-"

"That is very original! Good for him." Bucky's sarcastic comment was loudly shushed, and the group this temporary pause as an opportunity to move the the living room, where Clint made a giant nest and Tony popped popcorn. Once everyone was settled comfortably Thor continued.

"Odin had told Loki that they must find their own grooms, without his meddling magic-"

"Asshole." Tony muttered just loud enough to be heard by Phil who let out a loud snort that was cut off halfway by Natasha shoving popcorn into his largest face hole.

"Regrettably, none of them were able to find a man to settle down with, and Odin, true to his word, had them separately punished, but, mercifully he allowed them to marry the loves Loki had created for them, before they were all banished from the realm. Loki was devastated and locked himself into his chambers for seven days, and when he finally came out he told me they were all safe but he wouldn't tell me anymore no matter how much i pestered him, and no one has seen the Sisters since."

"But we have the Lovers Marks!" Clint enthused "That means Loki trusted us with The Sisters!"

"And their husbands," Bruce reminded "Thats fourteen extra people we have to keep safe, if were going to go through with our rescue mission."

Thors thundering laughter filled the room, "You don't keep them safe, they protect you."

"if They are The Seven Deadly Sins we really don't need to protect them, they basically rule the world." Natasha added smiling "Besides, The Sins are are married to, what Thor called, The Cures, which means we also have The Seven Heavenly Virtues on our side too."

"Awesome," Tony sounded like a ten year old receiving the video game he had been pining over, "Which Mark do I have? I want to know everything!"

"Yea!" the rest of the group cheered for more stories.

"Well," Thor started leaning back "why don't i explain your gift and mark at the same time?"

"Ohhh," Bucky liked this idea "I forgot about the gifts."

"You're still shirtless," Phil pointed to Bucky disbelievingly, "How did you forget?"

"Shhh!" Tony shushed nipping the argument in the budd, "I'm going to learn about my gifts."

"Tony," Thor started in his booming storytelling voice "Bestowed upon you is The Mark of Vosesisahm and The Forbidden Control of Fhurmerahm. They grant you the powers of: a mixture of future seeing and all knowing wisdom, immortality, and you control Fate."

"I'm IMMORTAL?!" Tony slept around excitedly, bragging to the others of his never-ending life.

"You all are" Thor deadpanned "You're not special, sit back down." Tony pouted as he did as he was told, the others laughing at the face he pulled.

"Can you tell me about mine?" Phil asked wanting to know about his snake ring.

"You have Jörmungandr literally wrapped around your finger," Thor was amused as he said this and took a drink of the last bottle of alcohol residing in the nest.

"Who?" Phil wasn't familiar with mythical or magical things, and he now wished he had paid attention at the debriefing they had had on them.

"Jörmungandr is another of Loki's children," Thor explained "He is a giant serpent who protects Midgard from foreign attacks and The Allfathers wrath."

"How?" Clint butted in.

"The realm is held in Jörmungandr's hold at all times, whether it be protectively in his mouth as he slithers between cosmos or wrapped around his body as he fights deadly foes. This is why I was one of the first to visit your realm, everyone else had not sought out Loki's blessing, and was easily killed by your serpentine protector."

"I thought you were banished?" Steve asked confused once more "How did you get your brothers blessing?"

"Wow,Odin really likes banishing people."

"Yes, Man of Iron, you are correct, he enjoys the drama a good banishing creates," Thor chuckled as he regarded Tony's snark, "Odin had me cloaked in Loki's sent before i was cast out. Jörmungandr hates me but, as all his children do, adores his mother Loki. Jörmungandr tried to destroy the realm if he knew i was residing here without Loki's knowledge."

"So," Bucky came to a quick conclusion "Loki pretty much owns our whole realm?"

"Yes." Thor didn't see much problem in this fact at all.

"Now," Thor quickly went back to finishing Phil's question, "While the stone on your ring represents the realm symbolically, it's also the still beating heart of The Goddess Who Must Not be Named, however most know her as Fates lover Fortune-"

"MORE STORY!" Clint is very excited and very drunk right now.

"I will tell you about Fate and Fortune," Thor easily agreed to the demanding bird, "They both have a gambling addiction, and are the perfect opponents, it is said that he cannot be cheated and she cannot be beaten. Fortune, having many titles, is often called The Million to One Chance, Karma, or, my personal favorite, Lady Luck. She is constantly opposed to her lover Fate, and she is just as difficult to understand, although where he is implacable, she is considered to be capricious. Her appearance is hard to determine. Not many have witnessed her in person, and the few that have were not able to agree upon what she had looked like, other than that she "appeared to be beautiful" and had green eyes. Her eyes are her defining feature, since Loki had taken her power to change the nature of her eyes they stay green from edge to edge, without iris or pupil. The Lady's favour instantly disappears if she believes someone is relying on her, or calls her by name -though it is stated that she is attracted to the sound of dice. Since everyone believes in her, she does not need to be worshipped, and would regard such a thing as taking her for granted, the Guild of Gamblers members attempted to worship her some millennia ago, and it led to them dying within a week, proving that being lucky doesn't necessarily mean having _good_ luck. As such it should be noted that she is behind all good AND ill fortune. On the other hand we have Fate, he is still considered one of the most implacable gods, and very difficult to understand. He looks like a pleasant, middle-aged man, much like Bruce, but his eyes are starry voids. It is possible ,although difficult, to bargain with him, but proverbially impossible to cheat him, although this has only been done once. He is known to play games and always plays to win. He also plays against other gods; but The Lady is said to be not only his lover but his only serious rival, as Fate always wins when the players stick to the rules. It is also noted that gods _never_ play by the rules. His Temple is situated in the Gods' Quarter of Ankh-Morpork. It's a small, heavy, leaden temple, where hollow-eyed and gaunt worshippers meet on dark nights for predestined and fairly pointless couple is often playing games with mortals as pawns, where The Lady never sacrifices a pawn, always playing to win, and Fate rather likes trying not to lose."

"That doesn't explain why Loki has the power to bestow their powers onto others." Jarvis spoke, impatiently, from above.

"Thats because he doesn't have their POWERS," Thor loves to be condescending today "He owns THEM."

"Again, HOW?" Clint was starting to think his Ma didn't need a rescue team.

"He played them for it." There's that tone again "Loki was the only demigod to cheat him out of a prize and for that Fate hates him, however you gotta give him some props, since Loki IS, despite everything, one of her favourites. He's the one who started the commonly-held superstition among gamblers that if they talk about their luck it will desert them, and she can't thank him enough for it. Given Loki's fondness for setting things in opposition it doesn't surprise me he had separated the lovers."

"So," Phil was still confused "I have to deal with a world saving snake, Lady Luck, and an unknown couple with a terrible curse?"

"Oh!" Thor sat up in revelation "I forgot to tell you who's mark you have!"

"You forgot mine too." Tony is still pouting a little.

"Son of Coul, you have Envy. Like greed and lust, she is characterized by an insatiable desire. Envy is similar to jealousy in that they both feel discontent towards someone's traits, status, abilities, or rewards. The difference is the envious also desire the entity and covet it. She is basically a desire to deprive other men of 's husband is-"

"KINDNESS!" The rest of the Avenges cheered happy to finally know something in this conversation without Thor telling them first.

"-Patience and he is famous for forbearance and endurance through moderation. Enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity. Resolving conflicts and injustice peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence. He is the master of forgiveness."

"Thats not the Virtue that matches the Sin though." Bucky, as equally as drunk as Clint, who was leaning on him for support, even though they were laying down, sounded sad.

"Of course not," Thor was tired of teaching the mortals things, "Envy and Kindness hate each other"

"What's their Curse?" Phil hadn't drank any of the booze and was soberly enthralled by his gifts.

" Envy has had her eyes pinned open, so she can forever look at all the things she will never have. She constantly has bloody tears trail down her face, the least her husband can do is make sure she doesn't ruin the things she DOES have. He keeps her tears from touching her clothing by catching them in a golden chalice, which he happily drinks from when it gets filled to the brim."

"Ewww," Tony still acting as a child complained, "I bet mines better."

"You got Avarice, she is also known as Greed, cupidity or covetousness, and, like Lust and Gluttony, she is a sin of excess. However, Greed is applied to a very excessive or rapacious desire and pursuit of material possessions. Father once said "Greed is a disease to all, just as all man condemns things eternal for the sake of temporal things." Hoarding of materials or objects, theft and robbery, especially by means of violence, trickery, or manipulation of authority are all actions that may be inspired by Greed. She married Humility, who is most known for his modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. He believes in not thinking less of yourself, but in thinking of yourself less, and he is a spirit of self-examination; a hermeneutic of suspicion toward yourself and charity toward people you disagree with. he rules over Courage and the heart necessary to undertake tasks which are difficult, tedious or unglamorous, to graciously accept the sacrifices involved, and have reverence for those who have wisdom and those who selflessly teach in love. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one's own self. Being faithful to promises, no matter how big or small they may be. Refraining from despair. oh! and he loves seeing the ability to confront fear and uncertainty in mortals. The Curse befallen Greed was because she is known for her abilities to manipulate and steal, and because of that she has had her throat cut open and her vocals ripped out, and 4 golden bells placed around her neck, her arms, and her ankles. She talks through her lover and has a tendency to hit people when she doesn't get her way."

"Ok," Natasha snickered at Tony's tone, "Not better."

"You lady Widow have The One Ring and the mark of Lust." Thor turned to the snickering woman to inform her of her own gift.

"The ring from Lord of the Rings?" Steve asked before Thor could delve into more facts.

"You've seen Lord of the Rings, but you still haven't seen Star Trek?" Clint was not happy with this development in his father's 'catching-up-with-the-times'.

"I haven't seen either," Bucky raised his hand "So, if someone could explain?"

"Yeah, I got it," Bruce volunteered, "The One Ring was forged by the Dark Lord Sauron during the Second Age to gain dominion over the free peoples of Middle-earth. In disguise as Annatar, or "Lord of Gifts", he aided the Elven smiths of Eregion and their leader Celebrimbor in the making of the Rings of Power. He then forged the One Ring himself in the fires of Mount Doom. Sauron intended it to be the most powerful of all Rings, able to rule and control those who wore the others. Since the other Rings were themselves powerful, Sauron was obliged to place much of his own power into the One to achieve his purpose. Creating the Ring simultaneously strengthened and weakened Sauron's power. On the one hand, as long as Sauron had the Ring, he could control the power of all the other Rings, and thus he was significantly more powerful after its creation than before; and putting such a great portion of his own power into the Ring ensured Sauron's continued existence so long as the Ring existed. On the other hand, by binding his power within the Ring, Sauron became dependent on it—without it his power was significantly diminished."

"But what does it do?" Bucky seemed unimpressed.

"domination of the wills of their users, effectively invisible except to those able to perceive the non-physical world, acquire an aura of terrible power, ability to read minds,

extend the life of a mortal possessor, and prevention of natural aging." Steve listed helpfully.

"Seriously?" Clint yanked on his hair in frustration.

"Not that the last two matter anymore anyways." Pouty Tony was back.

"Tell me about Lust." Natasha turned back to her uncle.

"Lust is also known as lechery, and is an intense and uncontrolled desire. It is usually thought of as uncontrolled sexual wants, however, it was soon discovered, the word was originally a general term for desire. Therefore, Lust also controls the uncontrolled desire for money, food, fame, or power. She fell in love with Kindness. He is often times mistaken for his brother Charity, probably because he enjoys compassion and friendship for its own sake. He is responsible for both Empathy and Trust, and believes in unselfish love and voluntary kindness without bias or spite. he always has a positive outlook and cheerful demeanor, in hopes of inspiring kindness in others."

"And her Curse?" Natasha spoke again to ask a question

"Her torso, thighs, and upper arms have been covered in hideous, silver scales, she attempts to hide her body from everyone but her husband."

"Thats not so bad." Bruce attempted to be optimistic, "What about me?"

"Your Mark is," Thor started " Wrath."

"Of course," Bruce was now apparently a pessimist "I just love Loki's sense of humor."

" She is also known as "rage"," Thor continued, "And may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. Wrath, in her purest form, presents with self-destructiveness, violence, and hate that may provoke feuds that can go on for centuries. Wrath may persist long after the person who did another a grievous wrong is dead. Feelings of anger can manifest in different ways, including impatience, revenge, and self-destructive behavior. He is the only sin not necessarily associated with selfishness or self-interest, although one can of course be wrathful for selfish reasons, such as jealousy. Odin often described vengeance as "love of justice perverted to revenge and spite". In its original form, the sin of wrath also encompassed anger pointed internally as well as externally. she is the lover of Chastity , he is known for his discretion of sexual conduct according to one's state in life, or the practice of courtly love. Prefers cleanliness and his jurisdiction is Honesty - be honest with oneself, one's family, one's friends, and to all of humanity. He believes in the embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought-through education and betterment. Wrath, forever, has blood splattered across her person ,and a scarlet strip of hatred painted across her eyes, her husband must remind her constantly of their love so she won't kill him or herself in a fit of rage. Now, for your other gift, it is the Dragon named Dagurashibanipal"

"I have a Dragon attached to my ankle?" Bruce was staring at the appendage in wonder.

"Essentially? Yes," Thor answered, "Loki had acquired as an egg from a mysterious, hooded stranger in the ever burning realm, Muspelheim, and is supposedly the hatchling of The queen Natsunomeryu II and the ever imperious and infamous Smaug. She was hatched in Daenerys Garyen Tavern a couple centuries ago, and is believed to be the last of her kind."

"What can she do?" Steve was ever curious and always loved Dragons.

"She's a throwback, retaining an unusually large amount of intelligence and has an unnatural urge to learn, rather than fight. It has been prophesied that, as The Celestial Dragon queen, she is to ultimately mate with an unknown male Dragon named Icefyre and save the dragon race."

"Can we see her?" Tony has the sudden urge to ride a Dragon.

"Well," THor started, "When Bruce summons her, you'll have to ask him."

"What does she look like" Clint was in awe of Bruce's awesome gift.

" Dagurashibanipal is a cream-white, female dragon **,** with a mane of golden, razor sharp spines running down her neck. Named to match the black crescent mark on her head, she possesses the ability to change size, revert to human form at will, summon and control storms, store and channel lightning, manipulate human minds, has mastered all the known elements, and has the ability to conjure and wield is a kind, fierce, if need be vicious, and at times possessive Dragon, she once slaughtered The Dwarf King Khordaldrum's clan along with the neighboring dwarf town of Yurdrok because they had kidnapped Loki and planned on murdering him."

"Sounds like one badass motherfucker." Tony was thoroughly impressed

"Language." was Steve's predicted remark.

"Hey," Phil spoke up, "How come Greed and Envy got such bad Curses?"

"Who cares?" Clint pushed Phil out of his way, "Tell me about my bracelet!"

"It is called a Agimatikaustubais," Thor brought the boys wrist closer to his face, "The leather is from seven different magical beings."

"Which magical beings?" Clint wanted answers and he wanted them now.

"You have Arachne who is half-spider half-female, and maybe the mother of all spiders, a Satyresses, which have human upper bodies, and the horns and hindquarters of a goat, Scylla former lover of Poseidon, transformed by Mother into a many-headed, tentacled monster who feeds on passing sailors, a Scythian Dracanae, they have the upper body of a woman, lower body composed of two snake tails,haunches of a lion, the wings of a great bird, and the face of a woman, Stymphalian Birds, they are man-eating birds with beaks of bronze and sharp metallic feathers they could launch at their victims, aTeumessian fox, orr, as they are more commonly known as ,a gigantic fox destined never to be hunted down, and lastly a Unicorn which is a beautiful horse-like creature with a magical horn on its forehead."

"What about the stones and wings?"

"The stones consist of Baetylus- a sacred stone which was supposedly endowed with life, Cintamani- a wish-fulfilling jewel that also said to perform alchemy without an equal sacrifice being made, such as turning lead to gold, and creating something out of nothing, Stone of Giramphiel- a stone offers protection against the fiery breath of dragons and any magic resulting in the death of the possessor, Adder stone- believed to have magical powers such as protection against eye diseases or evil charms, preventing nightmares, curing whooping cough, the ability to see through fairy or witch disguises and traps if looked at through the middle of the stone, and of course recovery from snakebite, Linguarium-a mythical gemstone believed to be formed of the solidified urine of the lynx (the best ones coming from wild males), Bufoni- a mythical stone or gem thought to be found in, or produced by, a toad, and is supposed to be an antidote to poison, Gjöll- the name of the rock which Fenrir the wolf is bound, Vaidurya- most precious of all stones, sparkling beauty beyond compare, and Draconite- a mythical gemstone taken from the head of a live dragon and believed to have magical properties to control the tides. The wings, however, come from a Naddahabennu which is a shape shifting entity inhabiting the caves of the watery wastelands of jotunheim. It commonly adopts the appearance of a gigantic water bird but it can also materialise in the form of various other mythological creatures such as a water bull. A generally malevolent entity, and typically preys on livestock being transported on ships, but it is also fond of otters, of which it consumes a considerable number. In its manifestation as a water horse the creature is able to gallop across the top of seas as if on solid ground. During the summer months it is seen infrequently as a large insect, sucking the blood of horses."

"Whats my mark?"

"You are branded with Gluttony, she is the overindulgence and overconsumption of anything to the point of waste. It is considered a sin if the excessive desire for food causes it to be withheld from the of these characteristics, gluttony can be selfish; for placing concern with one's own interests above the well-being or interests of others. Odin took a more expansive view of gluttony, arguing that he also included an obsessive anticipation of meals, and the constant eating of delicacies and excessively costly foods. Father went so far as to prepare a list of six ways to commit gluttony, comprising: Praepropere – eating too soon, Laute – eating too expensively, Nimis – eating too much, Ardenter – eating too eagerly, Studiose – eating too daintily, Forente – eating wildly."

"Sounds like a nightmare" Bucky interjected

"She married Charity, or Generosity it some. He really likes self-sacrifice -the term should not be confused with the more restricted modern use of the word charity- to mean benevolent giving. In Asgardian theology, and his wife, Charity is the greatest of the seven virtues. Charity is in ruler of Love, but only in the sense of an unlimited loving kindness towards all others, because it is said to both glorify and reflect the nature of the Gods. Such love is self-sacrificial. Confusion can arise from the multiple meanings of the word "love" but it's mostly the love that is "caritas" is distinguished by its origin – being divinely infused into the soul – and by its residing in the will rather than emotions, regardless of what emotions it stirs up. This love is believed to be necessary for salvation. And she now must eat the flesh of men to avoid death, Chastity has taken it upon himself to feed her grotesque hunger, luckily for both he is a quick healer, unluckily, they have both taken a liking to the curse"

"I take back my earlier comment." Phil gagged.

"I want to hear about the stuff on Steves back" Natasha reminded them of how strongly Thor was affected by the soldiers new back art.

"Steve," Thor began, "Would you mind turning back around, so I can gesture to The Iawe LohrUocioxojn as i'm explaining?" Steve complied. Thor gestured to the giant knotted tree, the roots buried themselves into Steve's lower back, as the leaves branched out, explaining its importance before moving on to the crow perched on a scythe to the left, next the four horses grazing in the grass around the tree, and finally to the three riders nestled in the roots, sleeping.

"This is Tree of Life ,to the Aesir, represents the hierarchical chain of events that brought everything into existence. The spheres of the Tree of Life demonstrate the order, process, and method of creation. We believe the first Gods, Isis and Osiris, planted the tree when they found they could bear no children. It is said that the only time the couple ever visited the tree was to carve the name Ahmadiyya- meaning Tree of Life-, and lay at the base awaiting death to take them, when the tree noticed the people who planted it die, however, it took their souls and gave life to everything in existence today. The first thing it gave life to was Death, who visits the tree often to water and ensure it does not die."

"How ironic," Phil mused, "Death keeping something alive."

"Yes, well next we have The Four Horseman" Thor continued "You see **,** Mother had been concerned with Loki's well being when she noticed how he refused to spend time with me and The Warriors Three, and suggested he find his own warriors to battle with, in hopes of him finally finding some companions to spend time with. Loki took her advice and set out to find said warriors. He didn't come back for a thousand years, but when he did, he returned victorious, with a family of four Horseman, a mother and her three children, who agreed to come back and be his new friends and family. They were soon dubbed The Four Horseman, and were discovered to be wielders of some strange and new magic, they each had their own powers but shared certain qualities like immortality, teleportation, super strength ,invisibility, and indestructibility. The powers eventually made Odin worry for his throne and orders guards to execute them. They proved to be mighty warriors, but it was later discovered the three kids, Pestilence, Famine , and War could be defeated if you removed each of their rings, and no mother would leave her children abandoned. Only Loki knows what Odin did with The Four Horsemen and it soon became a forbidden topic that neither was willing to discuss."

"Start with death!" was Steve's only comment during the entirety of the Horseman discussion and Thor instantly complied.

"Ahh, The Crow of death., her birth name is Morrigan, but she is often times just called Death. She generally prefers taking the form of a crow rather than riding horseback, but, if she does, she adorns a yellowish green horse that appears to be decaying. Death was the last to be titled as a Horseman, not particularly wanting the job, but quickly took over as leader, once she realized how much she would miss her three children. Her weapon of choice is a scythe, and, due to her advanced age, Death is completely detached from the rest of the universe. She only pays the events vague interest, resulting in her tendency to wander off from his assigned targets. However, unlike her children, Death is shown to have a more civil and calm manner when dealing with anything untoward, and while she doesn't particularly like anyone, she can't help but to have a soft spot for Loki, as the two share a Mother and son bond, Death even went as far as loaning Loki her Ring, long ago, so he could become Death for the day, as a way to teach Loki quality of the Soul, along with the consequences of disrupting the natural order. She hates the idea of souls being used for power, and unlike the other Horsemen, Death has a level of respect for beings, specifically the soul. Death teaches Loki that the soul is stronger than anyone knows, and that it can suffer much and be broken but can't be destroyed, not even by her. Her powers include, exemption from any physical harm and pain and cannot be physically destroyed in any manner, except by her own although she rarely does this, as it goes against the natural order, Memory Manipulation, and Pyrokinesis, meaning she can instantly kill anything or anyone at the drop of a hat. She will only ever take orders from her adopted son Loki. Next we have Pestilence his birth name is Arjuna, he is the First Horseman, and oldest birthed from Morrigan, and he uses disease to watch his foes die painful deaths from a safe distance, he is almost always creating new diseases. He often wears a crown claiming to be the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, and is always questioning, despite his Mother's threats, Loki's authority. He rides a on a stead as white as milk spilled on snow to represent the pureness of his diseases, he will only listen to his mother, Death. Like War, Pestilence was shown to be a good actor, able to pass himself off as either a sick man or a kindly doctor, but once you gain his respect, like all of his siblings, he will show his true self. He has a strong relationship with his brother, also has a low view of creatures, not caring how many he kills, however, it's been said that Pestilence is somewhat jealous of mankind, and unlike his brother Famine, Pestilence does have some care for the ones he works with. Despite this he can be very hard on them, particularly when they fail to meet his also had a habit of hiding his feelings, and appearing calm and even friendly, then in mid conversation letting out his true feelings, in one or two explosive bursts. his powers consist of Biokinesis, meaning he can create, manipulate, and control diseases, plagues, infestations, molds, and other ailments. He can also cause instantaneous illness in another being, and if you didn't already figure it out, Pestilence possesses dominion over ailments. he also has supernatural perception, meaning he can see through any disguise magical or otherwise, and super stamina. Deaths only daughter War is next, and as the only other female in The Horseman, Maylanth, is very close to her Mother, Death. She rides on a horse that has been dyed with the blood of her enemies, and never lets her sword fall from its raised battle stance, it can sometimes be found dripping the blood of someone who dared challenge her title. War is deceitful and highly intelligent, she likes to cause chaos indirectly from the shadows, manipulating humans with their own emotions and letting them take care of the rest. She is also shown to be a very good actor, and had a tendency to get Loki in trouble with The Council, in hopes of stealing his title as God of Mischief. War also has a very negative view of creatures, seeing them as naturally vicious and not requiring a reason to fight and kill. Much like Famine, War believes only a little push is needed to cause people to murder. She is also somewhat sadistic, as she enjoys watching them kill each seems to have a good relationship with her siblings, as she describes them as having a lot of fun seems to be free-roamed, unlike her brothers, and is therefore likely not spell-bound or at least, like her Mother, Death, able to resist the spell to an extent, and as a Horseman, War is an extremely powerful being, possessing a great amount of natural power. However, as a Horseman, she requires her ring to focus her and Abilities include :Illusion Casting which means she could create illusions and hallucinations, which drove people to violence,Induced Hallucination which is similar, but this is where she can manipulate reality, and even affect how people smell, hear and see her and others. This power has a radius large enough to affect an entire realm. She uses her Cosmic awareness to be an expert manipulator, able create mass panic with barely any input from her.,Electrokinesis, and. The only people she answers to is Pestilence and, surprisingly, Loki. Last but not least we have Famine, also male, and was born to the name of Stevarth, and rides a black stallion. Famine's frail, malformed appearance is likely to cause unwanted pity, but, as the embodiment of true hunger, Famine is constantly hungry, and lack of nourishment results in anger. He has an intolerance for failure, punishing any such occurrence with death. Famine, like his siblings, also has a low view of creatures, stating that they only require a little push to fall to hunger. He also takes joy in watching their hunger devour them. He also dislikes Asgard , calling it the place where few are satisfied despite everyone eating and eating. According to Lokil, once fully strengthened, Famine will dominantly march across the lands with authority. Interestingly, Famine seems more loyal to Loki than his Siblings, never differing from his orders, or expressing disdain for him. his powers are Body locking , any person who dies through Famine hunger, their soul does not leave their body on death, but is trapped, so it can be harvested and devoured by - Famine is known to forcibly exorcise a demon from its host, with a gesture of his hand, so he could devour it."

"How lovely" Clint swallowed

"What is the Captains mark?" Jarvis intruded again.

"The Captain has been blessed with the Mark of ,Sloth, she can entail different vices. While sloth is sometimes defined as physical laziness, spiritual laziness is emphasized. Failing to develop spiritually will lead to becoming guilty of sloth. He has also been defined as a failure to do things that one should do. By this definition, evil exists when good men fail to act, the exact deadly sin referred to was believed to be the failure to utilize one's talents and gifts. Her Love is Temperance and he is known for restraint, justice, and his constant mindfulness of others and of one's surroundings. unlike his wife he loves to practice self-control, abstention, moderation and deferred gratification. He controls Prudence, and enjoys judging between actions with regard to appropriate actions at a given time."

"Whats her Curse?" Phil asked hoping it was better than the last one.

"Sloth is Cursed to be at her Sister's beck and call, if she were to rest he aching, bloody feet Odin will kill her beloved Husband and Sisters. She would be put in a dark, isolated room to live out the rest of her existence alone." Thor replied sadly, in his opinion her punishment was the worst.

"Don't worry, Bucky," Tony teased, after a moment of comfortable silence"We didn't forget about you!"

"Yes, my metal armed friend" Thor turned to the person he was addressing joyfully "You also carry more of Loki's children"

"Who?" Bucky hoped his gift was super cool too.

"Fenrir, who is a monstrous wolf, attested to be the father of all wolves , a son of Loki, and, above all, hates Odin .Mostly because Odin, due to false knowledge of prophecies foretelling great trouble from Fenrir and his rapid growth, had the Generals bound him, which resulted in Fenrir biting off the right hand of Balder, Odin's third, and favorite son." Thors tone was slightly bitter as he said the last part it it freaked out the others because of how much he resembled his beloved brother Loki, "You also have Sleipnir, an eight-legged horse, the who was, unjustifiably, used as Odin's steed, is also a son of Loki. He is described as the best of all horses, and is sometimes ridden to the location of Hel. Odin has extended information regarding the circumstances of Sleipnir's birth, and explains why he is grey in color. Your Lover Mark is that of Vanity, or,as she's more commonly known, Pride. She is the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins, since she is the source of the others. She identifies as believing that one is essentially better than others, is always failing to acknowledge the accomplishments of others, and excessive admiration of the personal self ,it also includes vainglory which is unjustified boasting. Odin's curse of pride was "love of self, perverted to hatred and contempt for one's neighbour". her husband, Diligence, has a more zealous and careful nature than his wife and believes in a decisive work ethic, steadfastness in belief, fortitude, the capability of not giving up, budgeting one's time; monitoring one's own activities to guard against laziness. He is the Commander of upholding one's convictions at all times, especially when no one else is watching ,or Integrity, as it more commonly known her Sister,Envy, has had her eyes pinned open, The Allfather had her eyes sewn shut with enchanted wire so she could everything around her, but she is never to gaze upon her own face for all of eternity. Humility often tells her of her beauty so she doesn't go mad and try to kill herself. Again."

"You said something earlier about summoning." Tony really wanted to meet a Dragon "Can we summon our creatures now?"

"Do you know how to summon any of them?" Clint sassed back.

"Nooooo," Tony answered, seeing where this was going.

"Then you can't summon them" Natasha decided to respond WAAY nicer then whatever was going to leave her brother's mouth.

"Actually," Thor cleared his throat, "All you have to do to summon anything is have the right spell, If i remember correctly, I could write them out and give them to you tomorrow."

"BEDTIME!" Tony yelled, excited to go to bed for the first time in fifteen years, running to his bedroom, leaving the other heros laughing behind him.


End file.
